Toy Tuesday: Monchhichi (Oh So Soft & Cuddly)
It so happens I had one of these furry flea-bitten spider monkey dolls.
I’m not proud of it.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll already know how I feel about monkeys. You’ll know I have a long history of being repulsed by monkeys.
Whether this kind.
Or this kind.
You name it.
And then you might wonder why I owned a Monchhichi.
You might wonder why any kid would own a Monchhichi.
I can easily explain.
They have these holes in their heads. In which you can stick their thumbs. Or sometimes a peeled banana. I saw a knock-off Monchhichi with a peeled banana in its hand that could fit inside its mouth and/or ear, and that seemed sanitary enough. As opposed to its fingers which . . . aren’t.
So back to the holes. We all know how kids like to stick random junk drawer items — pennies, jawbreakers, pipe cleaners, what have you — into their own bodily orifices as if their orifices are simply handy hidden pockets. Then, inevitably, the items get stuck and have to be removed with tweezers or through surgical means.
This is fact.
I know a kid who stuck beads up her nose until it bled and she had to go to the hospital. I once tried to fit a Chiclet inside my belly button. My neighbor used his mouth to carry around his Smurf collection. We’ll say upper quadrant out of respect for the Smurfs.
Mattel is an evil empire and they know just what makes kids tick (and pick and lick for that matter).
Monkeys are not much different than children, am I right? They’re filthy little creatures who stick things in their orifices, play with their feces and eat lice off their pals’ shoulders. Which is a lot like monkeys.
Enter Monchhichi. Finally a doll children can relate to. My former kid-self included.
Need more information? Doing a report on monkeys soon? Wondering how to spot the signs that a monkey has stuck its fingers into your favorite box of chocolates? Check out the post I wrote on Curious George, the most vile creature of them all.
And enjoy this clip for daily flashback purposes.
Monchhichi, wherever you are, I raise my glass of Tang to you.