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Toy Tuesday: Monchhichi (Oh So Soft & Cuddly)

April 9, 2013

It so happens I had one of these furry flea-bitten spider monkey dolls.

Monchhichi

I’m not proud of it.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll already know how I feel about monkeys.  You’ll know I have a long history of being repulsed by monkeys.

Whether this kind.

Scary Monkey

Or this kind.

Flying Monkey

You name it.

cymbal monkey

And then you might wonder why I owned a Monchhichi.

You might wonder why any kid would own a Monchhichi.

I can easily explain.

They have these holes in their heads.  In which you can stick their thumbs.  Or sometimes a peeled banana.  I saw a knock-off Monchhichi with a peeled banana in its hand that could fit inside its mouth and/or ear, and that seemed sanitary enough.  As opposed to its fingers which . . . aren’t.

So back to the holes.  We all know how kids like to stick random junk drawer items — pennies, jawbreakers, pipe cleaners, what have you —  into their own bodily orifices as if their orifices are simply handy hidden pockets.  Then, inevitably, the items get stuck and have to be removed with tweezers or through surgical means.

This is fact.

I know a kid who stuck beads up her nose until it bled and she had to go to the hospital.  I once tried to fit a Chiclet inside my belly button.  My neighbor used his mouth to carry around his Smurf collection.  We’ll say upper quadrant out of respect for the Smurfs.

Mattel is an evil empire and they know just what makes kids tick (and pick and lick for that matter).

Monkeys are not much different than children, am I right?  They’re filthy little creatures who stick things in their orifices, play with their feces and eat lice off their pals’ shoulders.  Which is a lot like monkeys.

Enter Monchhichi.  Finally a doll children can relate to.  My former kid-self included.

Monchhichi_2

Need more information?  Doing a report on monkeys soon?  Wondering how to spot the signs that a monkey has stuck its fingers into your favorite box of chocolates?  Check out the post I wrote on Curious George, the most vile creature of them all.

And enjoy this clip for daily flashback purposes.

Monchhichi, wherever you are, I raise my glass of Tang to you.

*******

31 Comments leave one →
  1. April 9, 2013 6:01 am

    I can honestly say I’ve never seen one of these things before. I am familiar with monkeys though (and Monkees, but then I’m dating myself). I too agree that the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz were among the most heinous of creatures. Really, they just ruined the movie for me. Wiches? Meh! I’ve got a witch teaching my third grade class, and another one who lives at the end of my block. Witches don’t phase me, unless I have a diorama due and my dog ate it.

  2. April 9, 2013 6:28 am

    My mind is officially blown. I never knew these fabulous creatures existed! Mr. Skittles might have a new friend if I can track one down.

    Also, this post reminds me to conduct my daily belly-button-check of my son to see what’s lurking in there. My guess is most of those Brussels sprouts from last night.

  3. April 9, 2013 6:39 am

    Well, once again you have made me dig up half-buried childhood resentments. I wanted this foul ape because Eva Deller had one. Did the parents comply? Not exactly. I got a fake. A Nonchichi, if you will. When we played together, I was not allowed to sing the jingle with her because mine wasnt real. Damn, I hope that bitch is fat and lonely now.

  4. April 9, 2013 6:39 am

    I used to not believe in evolution…until I saw the Monchhichi.

  5. April 9, 2013 6:52 am

    Good lord now I’ll have that awful song in my head all day! …oh so soft and cuddly with her thumb in…..ahhhh!

  6. Tony permalink
    April 9, 2013 7:17 am

    If you remember sis, my weakness was gorillas. I had this lovable dope.
    http://worthopedia.s3.amazonaws.com/images/thumbnails2/1/0411/15/1_c9cbdc18b7ffe74ed75db23ac81b3c7d.jpg

  7. April 9, 2013 7:22 am

    I never had one, but I loved the song. I still sing it to annoy my kids. It’s perfect to get their eye rolling going. Do you remember the cartoon?

  8. April 9, 2013 7:47 am

    I had a monchichi doll!! Wonder what ever happened to that little critter. Huh. Maybe my neglectful attitude made her run off and live on the streets. There’s a lot of trouble an adorable little imp with a round hole in her face can get into, if you know what I mean. Now I feel sort of bad for the little scoundrel. Poor hooker monkey. :(

  9. April 9, 2013 8:13 am

    NO! NO! NO! I read the title and immediately began singing the theme! It hurts! It hurts!

    Do you remember Monchichi vitamins? A friend’s little sister saved up for weeks to buy some. Turns out, they tasted like dirt. Shocking. Anything with a monkey behind it is questionable.

    Maybe I’m just bitter. I never had a Monchichi. I had a Gunga.

  10. April 9, 2013 8:38 am

    Monkeys never bothered me, though in all honesty, I can’t say I ever bought into the Monchichi-is-a-monkey Idea. I had one, and my mother actually went through a phase when she called me Monchichi. I think I always put them in their own evolutionary category–that of the mythical sea monkeys and unicorns. And Monchichis. In today’s world, they’d fit on perfectly with Pokemon.

  11. April 9, 2013 8:42 am

    I used to sing the Monchichi song all the time. I didn’t even to look at the video (which, I assume plays it). It’s a catchy little ditty. ANd now I’ll be singing it all day. So thanks for that! ;)

  12. Rosie permalink
    April 9, 2013 8:45 am

    What’s with the one on the bottom right? It looks like an in-bred hillbilly Monchhichi!

  13. April 9, 2013 9:01 am

    Wow, that was awesome, Angie. Thanks! The comments were a kick to read, too. I was a little bit too old to want one when these monkeys came on the scene, but the jingle (which you seem to be responsible for planting in many a mental music track today) comes right back. I’m with you on monkeys in general, though–not our friends.

  14. April 9, 2013 9:48 am

    Oh geez…that darn monkey. My son still gets scared over seeing that one monkey with the cymbals when he watches Toy Story 3. Me too actually….

  15. April 9, 2013 10:40 am

    The horrors. I hated Monchichis. And, that damn song … OMG. Curses to the Monchichis! May your orifices be stuffed with … oh, this is getting weird. Nevermind. If you can’t tell, I’m not a big fan of this toy. My little sister had a whole Monchichi army. I think they did bad monkey things to my Barbies. Go figure.

  16. April 9, 2013 11:03 am

    I literally just found my knockoff monkey-that-fits-his-thumb-in-his-mouth doll. I didn’t know it was called Monchichi but now that I think about it, there’s a toy store near me that still sells them. Look out for a comeback.

  17. April 9, 2013 11:50 am

    And…now I have an earworm. Thanks.

    I remember Monchichis primarily because when I was in high school, one of my classmates got a buzzcut that made him look just like a Monchichi. Seriously. It was awesome. And we would sing the song to him. All. Day. Long. The best part? His brother looked like Chaka from Land of the Lost. Those poor boys were living incarnations of 70s and 80s pop culture.

  18. April 9, 2013 4:16 pm

    There was a baby at church that looked just monchichi-I passed gas laughing every time I saw it. Anyway- there’s a store in Sapporo that has a whole monchichi section. I sent a pic to my sisters a while back as an homage to the monchichi church baby.

  19. April 9, 2013 4:42 pm

    I find your monkey photos terrifying, and I don’t even share your unreasonable fear of them!

  20. April 9, 2013 5:18 pm

    *shudder*

  21. April 10, 2013 6:53 am

    I was clearly born too soon.

  22. April 10, 2013 10:14 am

    All monkey toys are silly crap. Real monkies, like the Capuchin my wife and I had are amazing, disturbed funny little quasi humans. If you FELT them grab your finger with a hand with opposable thumbs- a 2″ hand that also reaches under the door to “come getcha”… hahahahhah!! Oh Lord, people either
    feared her or made her afraid.

    “Metu” lived to 30. THIRTY!! I started dating my wife because the rascal threw her phone in the tub. Rebooted, the phone still worked & my wife to be (we were friends) called people in alphabetical order. Andy was first.

    We went out. Boom! She wad the one.

  23. April 11, 2013 7:21 am

    Pretty much nailed the description of kids. Mine is eyeing a grill lighter right now and I’m going to go ahead and book the doctors appointment.

  24. April 11, 2013 5:43 pm

    My son was such a cute baby, until my mother-in-law came to see him for the first time. She proclaimed that he looked exactly like a Monchichi. After that all I could see when I looked at my adorable brown child was this awful toy. He may not be scarred for life, but I certainly am.

  25. April 12, 2013 3:19 pm

    I did not have one of those monkeys – I don’t think. I do remember the ones that hung around your neck with velcro. My daughter had one of those and it also screeched and screeched and screeched. So delightful. But no orifices to stick stuff inside.

    My big brother stuck a piece of tape up my nose once to see what would happen. Then he couldn’t find it to take it out. We’re not sure what happened to it. It might explain my brain malfunctions now.

  26. April 26, 2013 8:28 pm

    Hilarious! Love this post… you’re a great writer, very witty!

  27. May 4, 2013 1:03 pm

    I STILL have mine! Our boys (reluctantly) play with it. Loved that thing!

  28. May 27, 2013 7:34 am

    Great photos, great videos, great memories! I love your blog and the fun past it evokes.

  29. June 25, 2013 7:29 am

    Zomg, my father found one of those things at a garage sale and gave it to Thing Two. It’s one of the newer, less rare ones. I made the mistake of making up a story in which the Monchichi or whatever it is crawls inside the armpits of children at night. Now I’ve scared myself.

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  1. The Legend of Monchhichi | aliceatwonderland

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