What the . . . Legwarmers?
Today: What the legwarmers?
“They’re functional, fashionable and just plain fun!”
That’s what I learned about legwarmers today — from watching a commercial about legwarmers.
1982-Angie and 1982-Skate Island could attest to the “fashionable” part. And scientific evidence would surely prove they are “just plain fun.”
But “functional”? What would make them functional? This was not explained to me in the commercial, amid the flying hypnotic color wheel of legs.
Oh, I suppose you’re going to say that legwarmers keep your legs warm? Yeah, I thought you’d say that. That’s so obvious, right.
Then tell me why Jane Fonda is not wearing earmuffs. Huh? Tell me. Then tell me why this thing was never all the rage:
And then when you’re done telling me that, tell me what the deal is with cable knit legwarmers.
Yes, cable knit legwarmers.
I’m not really getting the cable knit part in the commercial. Apparently the type of knit weave is important? Any other weave would not be as fashionable? Functional, yes. No matter the weave, they’d function the same — which is to hang on your calves while looking irrelevant.
I owned three pairs of legwarmers.
I had a stripey pair (royal blue/magenta/emerald green), I had a purple pair (naturally) and I had a mauve pair (from what I call “my mauve period”). The elastic shot out of at least one pair, and then they drooped down around my ankles and sunk down into my shoes until they became socks. Which were functional.
Legwarmers were such a Big Deal to me. Such a Big Deal to the ’80s. And yet I’ve never before written a single post about legwarmers. It’s a crying shame.
Until now. It seems it took this WTF? video to bring me back to what really matters. (And if you can figure out why it matters, please tell me.)
[Bonus flashback! Look for Martha Quinn and Alan Hunter, two of the original MTV VJs, in the first second of the clip.]