Activewear — for Camping or Cat Riding
Dynomite! is an ongoing segment where I publish submitted photos from the ’70s, ’80s or ’90s of readers demonstrating their fashion A-game. All accepted entries published on my blog will later compete in a Dynomite! All-Stars competition like this one here.
I confess that my Dynomite! series has gotten a bit out of hand.
I am up to my earlobes in permed bangs and velour.
Never did I anticipate receiving so many entries. Never did I anticipate the extent of my readers’ self-loathing.
Each blessed entry deserves its own special post. But, at the rate of this roll-out, the Mayans will end the world before I get that accomplished.
From here on out I will instead feature multiple Dynomite! entries at a time, grouped by category. Look for a Family Photos edition coming soon, along with a School Photos edition — and holy awkward years! — that edition promises to be uh-mazing.
But wait! First I must offer my second Dynomite! All-Stars Competition. That’s right — next week you will vote for the winner of this latest round of entries. And that winner will not only win a grand prize (!) but will rule the right-hand margin of my blog site until I remember to take it down for the next two weeks.
Exciting stuff, right?
Facing off in the upcoming competition will be our past three contestants, (1) Cathie, (2) Lenore, (3) Jules AND . . .
(4) John-Paul, better known as JP, from the blog Man of Errors.
When I received this entry from JP, I immediately wrote back something like,
Anyway, I totally intended to write that to JP. But actually it was more along the lines of,
But, trust me, he knew I meant business.
After JP assured me his cat was not harmed in the making of this photo and that he had no idea what he was doing here, I remembered he lives in New Zealand.
And who am I to judge the animal husbandry customs of other cultures? I know from watching The Jerk, that they do cat juggling in Mexico. And I hear that monkeys are a delicacy in Rhode Island. Which is actually comforting as I am terrified of monkeys and I sleep better knowing a few of them are off the streets.
But let’s get back to the issue at hand — JP’s stellar stylings. I love his adorable Shirley Temple coif, which is complemented by a pair of shop class safety glasses. Nope, no sawdust or metal shards are getting past those babies — although, that’s not to say he won’t lop off his fingers.
I’d also like to recognize JP’s phenomenal demonstration of what is best described as “activewear” — sweatsuit, tracksuit, whatever the kids are calling it now. Thanksgivingsuit, as I’ve been known to call it.
I admire the letters S-P-O-R-T printed across JP’s shirt, and the inclusion of prehistoric cave drawings depicting the types of activities that might fall under the category of SPORT.
In this case — kicking, punching and pounding a tent stake into the ground.
It appears one example of SPORT is a person lying on a stretcher. And I’d raise my glass of Tang to that person. But JP’s photo is not high quality so I cannot confirm this. I also cannot be sure whether one person isn’t riding a cat.
Let’s give a round of cyber applause for JP. I hope you’ll check out his blog here – it’s one of my favorites.
And remember — next week it’s so on, folks! May the best Dynomite! kid win.
I’ve tried out several comments so I’m just going to leave this one. I can’t get past the cat. I’m really trying, but I need to know what is going on. Is this 50 Shades of Grey: the Animal Version? Help!
I felt sorry enough for JP that I couldn’t “go there” in this post — so many thanks to you for going there for me. You might want to go wash off now.
I think he may be practicing giving birth (as most young men in the 80s? did at one time or another!). F***ing hysterical and a great way to wake up this morning. Thank you!
Oh no! Practicing giving birth to…furbies? I’m totally unaware of this 80s practice, although I’m also too naive to get how Michael Hutchence died.
So it’s a CAT. I thought it was a duck. That clears things up considerably. I totally get it now.
Who knows, perhaps they’re both in there somewhere.
I have no words.
That said, this article (if you want to call it an article) reminds me of you:
http://photos.ellen.warnerbros.com/galleries/bad_school_photos
That’s great! Thanks, Lenore. Should I write to Ellen now and thank her for ripping me off? Because I’m sure I’m the first person in the world to exploit people’s awkward school photos.
Not to brag but the photos I have in my possession are going to blow those photos out of the water.
I’m in a hotel, and their internet is really slow. This post loses a little oomph when the pictures won’t load… I’m trying to visualize this, but it’s a bleak picture.
Pictures are indeed required…
This was one of those posts that didn’t even need words. Yet I couldn’t hold back.
B-Man, don’t give up. Holy crud. It’s amazing.
Tragic! That’s okay — it probably would’ve burned out your retinas.
As if the (head-in-the-) ass-cat wasn’t enough, your narration of JP’s wares pushed me over the edge. “Shop safety glasses?” “Prehistoric cave drawings?” Angie, you’ve outdone yourself! JP — that photo absolutely NEEDED to come out of the box. Thank you for the laugh this morning.
JP — what a guy! I know he’s lurking around here somewhere because he’s well aware that yesterday was his big day. More like the cat’s big day.
I’m sure the cat in question plotted JP’s death for the rest of his days. Good thing the cat didn’t attack at the exact moment it became trapped under crotch. Ouch.
I bet the cat really did plot something brilliant — she probably left one of those post-evacuation hanger-on thingies in his jar of vegemite. Of course, a hanger-on would go completely unnoticed in vegemite.
HA HA HA Oh. My. Feline. Goodness. Wow wow wow. I voluntarily withdraw myself from the running, because between JP and Lenore, I don’t even know how I got in there.
“And who am I to judge the animal husbandry customs of other cultures?” I howled at that, Angie!
Wow. …Wow.
What. Ever. Besides, your toothpaste costume photo would win every photo competition during Halloween. Which means I probably will need to resurrect it this fall.
JP is one brave dude to post that picture publicly. And he looks an awful lot like a guy I dated in high school, except his glasses are way cooler.
Actually, he was practically giddy when he sent it to me. I think he thought it would help him win friends and influence people. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize that we Americans aren’t into that kinky stuff.
I hope JP isn’t reading this.
Peg stole my comment. I think we need to “hand it” to JP for being willing to admit it is him. After all, they say many things about guys from New Zealand. Most of them involve sheep. None that I’ve ever heard involves a cat. So we can always learn from our friends from Oceana.
Ha ha ha!
Isn’t it funny the information we remember about ferriners?
Isn’t it funny that I had to google that word? Oh, I love learning.
Hmmm, what do they say about guys in New Zealand that involves sheep? I seem to recall JP wrote a post about that once. http://manoferrors.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/down-under/
I am so glad I didn’t submit my photos! With the exception of a truly electrifying perm, I have NOTHING that compares to this. I bow to the magnificence of the sweat-suited double reverse cat rider. *bows*
Lynnette, hand over the photos and no one gets hurt. Hand them over or I’ll have to dig up the one with your prairie mullet braids.
“I bow to the magnificence of the sweat-suited double reverse cat rider.” I bow to that line!
Hahaha! What. The. HELL??! It would have been enough to submit the cropped version (like the one you have that only highlights his activewear). But the cat?! It’s too much for words– I’m speechless! Giddy-up!
I know — it’s social suicide. Poor JP. It’s obvious he has an unhealthy self image.
I can understand why you’re picking on me. I really can. But let’s all stop a moment and reflect on what someone was thinking in this photo. Not me (“I am rocking this active wear”), not the cat (“$^%&#*@($&^%^#*@@($&%”), but my mother who took the actual photo. What the hell was she thinking? Did she think, “I’ll just wait a minute until this unfortunate situation has resolved itself”? No, she thought, “I better capture this forever”.
In addition, I would like to add that most children in New Zealand ride backwards cats to school every day. FACT. Can you prove I’m lying? Can you?
That’s right — talk it out, JP. Perhaps this can help you come to terms with your poor behavior. Judgment Day will be on Monday.
Your mom was smart to photograph this moment because no one would’ve believed her.