And the Dynomite! Winner is . . .
The people have spoken.
And Jason is the winner of the first/only/premiere of an ongoing (if I don’t forget about it) Dynomite! All-Stars Edition.
Let’s hear it for Jason!
The competition was as fierce as two drunken brides-to-be in a Vera Wang outlet store. In claiming the title of Dynomite!, Jason defeated a German clock girl (see here), a strategically color-coordinated aerobics girl (see here) and a Toss Across master with a shirt collar so dangerously pointed that it’s been since banned in forty-seven U.S. states (see here).
In the end, Jason won due to his
900 loyal Facebook friends killer sense of ’80s arcade style.
When I contacted Jason to tell him the good news he stated,
Just before he added,
“I’m very important and busy. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my extremely stylish life and my daily champagne toast to Me.”
Unfortunately, I never had the chance to personally inform Jason of his Amazing Grand Prize winnings, so I can only hope Jason is reading right now.
First, Jason will be featured on my blog site (see him at far right) for the next month/until I grow weary of it/until I figure out how to remove it/until legal action has been formally initiated.
Second, Jason will be able to read here on my blog this genuine magazine offer from Barbizon so that he can learn how to become a real model!
(Disclaimer: Or he’ll just look like one.)
These are very amazing prizes indeed!
Unfortunately, here is what Jason will not receive.
(Sorry, Jason. And thank you for this fabulous suggestion, Speaker7.)
As I reached inside my satin-lined cedar hope chest where the bonnet had been safely stored and protected from Modern Society for the past 30 years, it caved to the gentle pressure of my grasp and exploded into lavendar-scented pixie dust. From there, it blew across my bedroom, out an open window and away into the cool evening air where it sailed off to find a new deserving family who needs it more than I do.
Legend has it that it was last spotted inside a Goodwill trash dumpster.
Dynomite! Do you have photographic evidence of the existence of parachute pants? Do you feel that the government should have access to this evidence? Do you have old childhood pictures you hope will never see the light of day? Do you secretly hope to have them published on a blog site where thousands of readers can enjoy them? Do you wonder if I’m lying about having thousands of readers? Do you enjoy answering questions? Do you want to know what I’m getting at?
If you answered “Yes, Angie!” to any of these questions, you’re in luck.
I am seeking new entries for my next Dynomite! All-Stars competition. All selected entries will be given prominent display on my blog, Childhood Relived. Entries accepted from WordPress bloggers will receive promotional shout-outs with linkage to their blog sites (!) where readers can find them, stalk them and check to see if they’re still sporting mall bangs and/or permed mullets.
Click on the email address below to submit your photos.